When children are removed from their biological families because of abuse, they are often filled with shame. Why not some other emotion like the joy of leaving a bad situation? It’s often because the child told the investigators what was happening at home and they blame themselves for everything (including the abuse).
Therapists try to alleviate the shame with:
- Empathy
- A non-judgemental attitude
- Affirming that feelings matter
- Creating a safe place
- Encouraging self-expression
- Expressing the child’s value as a human
- Listening to the child
We use other tools in the psychological toolbox like play therapy, sandtray, art and writing. It may take years for the emotional train to get back on the right track so children truly believe the trauma was not their fault. And, perhaps most important, that they feel worthy of being loved.